I'm listening to BBMAK's Back Here and previously, Shalala Lala (yan pala title nun?) by Vengaboys—and I paused to write and remember this haha
Took me back to nights when I would press my ear against the radio to listen to music. It wasn't a boombox but it was large enough. In elementary school, the most time I'd have listening to music was during my schoolbus rides; I was the last to be dropped off. At home in the 90s, the radio was mostly tuned in to the news, our TV always in someone else's control: my siblings, my parents, relatives who were staying with us for a while. I don't think we even had MTV until later that decade.
I now listen to music on my phone with my earbuds on, volume to the maximum, and only recently have I realized that devastatingly huge libraries of music I "hated" as a kid are actually fantastic ~bops~. I mean, I already unironically liked Back Here and Shalala anyway, but all the other songs I didn't—mygod what ~*delight*~ they are to hear in high volume, all instruments/production in full, audible glory.
My schoolbus had open windows and was a huge metal box basically, so it wasn't the best at acoustics. Only my two eldest siblings knew how to operate a casette player, and one of them had earphones they wouldn't share lolz.
Wearing earphones now that have a heavy bass, I feel I'm getting to enjoy the first two-thirds of my life in music for the first time. I didn't know much about these gadgets in my 20s so I don't know if we had the same quality of head/earphones back then. Parang yung malalaki lang ang ganon noon, eh ang bigat sa ulo nun. Though I remember using them sa computer lang din (GrooveShark, RIP).
Medyo malungkot lang, because I probably would have been SUCH a different person had I been able to enjoy music like this dati pa, knowing how much it influenced me. Kasi I can't enjoy music if it's not filling my entire head with vibrations. Eh di ba nga yung earphones dati, basag yung tunog, kahit Sony o Panasonic pa yun. Kulang sa gigil.
Maybe I'd have been a critical writer/art historian or been politically aware earlier. Ang labo ng connection when I write it like that, but in my head it makes sense. Feeling ko yung kayabangan ko nung bata ako at yung hilig ko sa pacute, nakuha ko sa kakakinig ng hip-hop hahahahaa Pero yung pretentiousness na-heighten nung 2010s hipster era.
Maybe I would have been as cool as I was in my head had I enjoyed techno earlier and not dismissed it as perya music. Maybe it would have made me less uptight. Because techno is like freestyle dancing, while hip-hop is choreographed. Maybe it would have kept me from turning up my nose on every other type of music I didn't immediately like.
Maybe all that would have allowed me to discover gay artists sooner, at least those who were out. And maybe that could have made me gay sooner. Shsjshsjsk
Nasesenti (senti?!) lang ako. Dahil sa ganda ng quality ng earphones ngayon, naging makulay yung buhay ko. Ulit.
Eme. Pero totoo.
